is this thing on?

Tomorrow is my birthday and I’m turning 37. I’ve always had a fragile relationship with my 30’s but it has definitely improved the further I’ve gotten into it. I’ve learned my 30’s are refreshing because I feel more grounded and more comfortable with who I am. I’m less apologetic and also more empathetic toward others. I’m established and growing roots and most days I find myself feeling so freaking happy in my life. That is a very, very good place to be. However, I’m struggling with the idea of now entering my “late 30’s”. I don’t know why this is a recurring theme for me; I remember having these same panicked thoughts about turning 27. If I had to guess the reason I would say it’s our lack of children and that birthdays are a reminder how far away we keep getting from the plan in this area. I always expected to be a mom by at least the age of 28. Deep down I continuously find myself white-knuckling that plan and I can’t seem to come to terms with the fact that it has long flown o...

If you follow me on social media, you saw that I recently met up with my 2 best friends from high school in NYC for a 20+ year friend-iversary rendezvous. It was the perfect trip in so many ways. We had a great time reconnecting and reminiscing. I walked away from that trip super sad it was over and super grateful for such great, long-lasting friendships and the fact that we all found great husbands. If you haven't seen your long-time besties in a while, plan a trip with them for a long weekend! I highly recommend it. That trip really made me nostalgic so I came home and started reading my journals. I was blessed with a mentor in high school who really encouraged me to journal through all my teenage angst and I have always felt that was so crucial for me to work through all those awkward years. And now I have volumes upon volumes of journals walking me through the majority of my life. What's great about having those journals is that I continue to learn from them, even 20 y...

The other day my husband asked me if he could write something for my blog. Of course I said yes! He is an excellent writer and doesn't do it enough (if you ask me), so I'm excited to share some of his writing with you today. It probably won't surprise you that the topic is adoption. As we continue down this journey we find ourselves doing a lot of processing and learning; we're excited about what we're learning and we like to share it with others as much as we can. The topic he wanted to write on today is the birth mother in the adoption triad (triad: Birth Mother/Parents, Adoptive Parents, Child). Birth mothers/parents have been on our minds a lot these days as 2 weeks ago we received our first profile notification of an expectant mother who was considering adoption. We said that we definitely wanted our profile thrown into the mix of couples from which she could choose, and while we've waited to hear if she would like to get to know us better we've been ...

We're official! (again) We found out this week that we've officially been approved by our new adoption agency! This is very exciting news for us and we feel really confident we're on the verge of meeting our child. We've found that adoption is a subject that people are curious about but feel uncomfortable asking about. We love talking about it so we thought a FAQ might prove helpful. Welcome to the Adoption Corner with Jaime and Brian Why are we adopting? What it boils down to is: we have always wanted children! We know that's not what you mean, though. Technically speaking, we struggle from infertility. In our case that means after 8 years we have not once ever gotten pregnant. All the tests have been run on both of us and not one thing was found so we have no scientific explanation for why we can't get pregnant. The closest thing to a reason we've ever gotten was, "Your body chemistry must not be a match and if you were with other people you...

I wasn't really planning on writing anything in light of the new year but I stumbled upon last year's reflection and decided reflection really is a good thing to do every once in a while, and what better excuse than a new year? If you're new here, every year I come up with a theme or mantra to sit with for the upcoming 365 days. In 2017 I picked the Elizabeth Eliot quote "Don't dig up in doubt what you planted in faith". I wrote it on a chalk board and saw it often throughout the year, but if I'm honest I can't say that it resonated as much as other mantras have in years past. I still really like the quote but it didn't sink into my heart like I thought it would.  When we decided to switch adoption agencies it felt like the complete opposite of my mantra. I felt like we did dig up what we planted in faith so we could plant something new in renewed faith. Perhaps that's why my mantra didn't really stick this year. Being a novice gardener, ...

I've been feeling thoughts rumbling around in my head, starting to make their way down to my fingertips. I don't know that they've fully arrived yet but I figured I'd give it the old college try. Speaking of college, when I was in college with a hankering to write, but no clue what to write about, I'd make a list instead and I called it a "Time Freeze Scan" (I wanted it to have a clever title but that was all I ever came up with...which is quite the opposite of clever but just go with it). It is a simply me, listing things occupying my time at the moment. I think I'll do that now. December 2017 Time Freeze Scan Current Favorite TV Shows: Haters Back Off! Season 2 (Netflix). I initially wasn't so sure about this show when I first tuned in but I've learned to really enjoy this quirky family. Warning: You really have to enjoy silly humor. Stranger Things  Season 2 (Netflix), that show brings me such joy. The 80's theme takes me to my ...

Gosh, I feel like I just got back from Scotland but here it is already mid-September. Yikes. I appears Scotland satiated my summer hiking needs, because I haven't really done much since. We did try a new form of hike where we picked a short, easy hike that promised a meadow. We stopped in said meadow, brought books, blankets, and whiskey and just enjoyed being outside. I haven't done that kind of a hike since probably high school (sans the whiskey). Ever since my hiking has become more extreme, it has become more about how far you can go and how many vast vistas with which you can tickle your eyes and I never consider bringing a book. It was very pleasant and something I hope to incorporate more into my hiking plans. That relaxing hike was in celebration of our 12th wedding anniversary in July. Sometimes it's crazy to think I've been in close contact with Brian for 14 years now when it feels like yesterday that he awkwardly asked me out and I awkwardly wasn't sure...