is this thing on?

Tomorrow is my birthday and I’m turning 37. I’ve always had a fragile relationship with my 30’s but it has definitely improved the further I’ve gotten into it. I’ve learned my 30’s are refreshing because I feel more grounded and more comfortable with who I am. I’m less apologetic and also more empathetic toward others. I’m established and growing roots and most days I find myself feeling so freaking happy in my life. That is a very, very good place to be. However, I’m struggling with the idea of now entering my “late 30’s”. I don’t know why this is a recurring theme for me; I remember having these same panicked thoughts about turning 27. If I had to guess the reason I would say it’s our lack of children and that birthdays are a reminder how far away we keep getting from the plan in this area. I always expected to be a mom by at least the age of 28. Deep down I continuously find myself white-knuckling that plan and I can’t seem to come to terms with the fact that it has long flown o