The Inner Fears of an Introvert.

-


Brian left this a.m. to head to Vegas for business & for some reason I'm feeling rather lost without him this time. I decided I've been going, going, going and I deserved a day of nothing. I stayed in my pajamas, made some toast and cruised through my netflix to see what was available. I decided to watch the original "Gray Gardens" documentary. While fascinating, I suddenly felt like if I didn't get off the couch and go do something I would end up my very own blend of Gray Garden lunatic.

Newsflash: I'm an introvert. I know, I know, I just blew your mind a little. I tend to get a little depressed if I don't have time to myself but if I'm not careful, I get sucked into this black hole of nothingness and I suddenly become all too comfortable being by myself and lose my desire to interact with others. Actually, the better way to phrase it is: I become terrified of other people. I've spent a lot of energy and have forked over enough money in counseling to fund a small scholarship in order to overcome many of my fears... so it seems I walk a fine line every day as I attempt to find the balance of nurturing the needs of my soul but not falling back into the abyss of fear and loneliness. How sad is it that I can all-too-easily see myself becoming one of those women in that movie? Finding no need to ever leave my house, talking to my 8 cats, having my groceries delivered, and heading up to the attic occasionally to feed the live-in raccoons a bag of wonderbread and cat chow...~shiver~

So, I got dressed today and went out into the world instead of staying inside with my cats all day and I'm claiming it was necessary therapy as opposed to me just finding excuses to avoid my chores. Sounds reasonable, right?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Jaime Needs...

-
so i heard about this thing going around the blog world where you go to 'google' and type in your name followed by the word 'needs', example: "Jaime Needs" and see what comes up...i decided i wanted to join the bandwagon because, well, it made me chuckle...plus, it's nice to know what all the other Jaime's of the world need; or at least what their friends writing about them think they need. now, without further adieu, here is my list (i especially like #6): 1. Jaime needs the swim of her life 2. Jaime needs to grow up and stop making those horrible faces 3. Jaime needs someone to talk to 4. Jaime needs a witness who saw the large UFO over Mexico City 5. Jaime needs some ice cream 6. Jaime needs your help growing all season long 7. Jaime needs a safe play area 8. Jaime needs to uncover the truth about Helena's death 9. Jaime needs a break 10. Jaime needs a blog 11. Jaime needs both her father and her grandfather
Read more

February 15, 2011

-
Image
February 15, 2011: In the days of yore, my besties and I declared February 15th "Friend Day" so we could look forward to a back-up to Valentine's Day. Really, it came about when we were hanging out in my parent's basement on February 15th watching "Terminator 2" and I handed out some Christmas presents I had forgotten to give to some other acquaintances. Presents = a holiday and thus, "Friend Day" was born. The three of us don't often see each other any more (because Elissa had to go and move to Boston- ahem) so I don't have any recent pictures of the 3 of us together. Nevertheless, Happy Friend Day, Amy & Elissa!
Read more

Weekend Bliss

-
Image
I love it when you stumble across a great weekend, especially when you weren't planning for anything in particular. Brian woke me with a kiss on Saturday and whispered, "If we're going hiking, we should leave soon." I jumped out of bed and got ready while Brian cooked some eggs and then we headed west to hike up to Crater Lake. Here's what I look for in an optimal hike: your path should lead you up and the word 'alpine' should be involved. We indeed went up and were pleasantly greeted with great alpine meadows and lakes. This picture reminds me of the bigfoot sighting pictures. After our hike, we had dinner with my parents who stopped by to pick up their dog, Eefee, after their road trip to Pennsylvania. After they left, Brian suggested we go get some flowers for the flower beds in our front window. We were smarter this time and paid attention to the fact that our big tree blocks most sunlight and got plants that don't need full su...
Read more