Lordy, Lordy Look Who's {almost} 40

Well, I’m officially in the last week of my 30’s and this time next Monday I'll be 40. It feels like that is worthy of a reflection blog post, but I don’t know that I have anything super insightful to say. We’ll see what happens…

I entered my 30’s with dread, but also expecting it to be a noteworthy decade.

2011, in Vegas for my 30th birthday
(with a wax Justin Timberlake, obvi)

I felt like 30 was so old at the time, but everyone told me it was a great decade for really solidifying who you are, so I decided to make an on-going list to document things. I named the list “Productive 30’s” and I added to it throughout the years. It eventually evolved into two lists:

• Productivity- tangible things I accomplished, some examples: learned to light the grill by myself, learned to mow the lawn, hiked 100 miles, lost 40lbs without really trying (i.e. lifestyle change, not a diet), did the work to build our family through adoption, etc.
• Learning for Life- things I learned about myself, some examples: I don’t enjoy selling my crafts, I don’t like having hair down to my waist, I officially don’t like snowboarding or skiing and I’m not going to pretend or try anymore, I am way more capable than I give myself credit for, Facebook isn’t good for me, etc.

I also tacked on 3 main goals that I hoped to see during the decade that followed:

1. Build a family through adoption
2. Conquer my addiction to sugar
3. Truly learn to crochet or knit

I'm happy to say that I accomplished 2.5 of those goals. We did become a family via adoption, I did learn to crochet, and while I still love me some sugar, I changed how I eat and have done a much better job of controlling my portions (including sugar...most of the time).

It’s fun to go back and read the items on the list. There were a couple chicken little moments where I thought the sky was falling; for example, I wrote that I learned my knees only had a 32.5 year lifespan, but then I had to go back and update it later admitting that I overreacted and they were fine now, it was just an injury from working out without stretching (which led to me include a life lesson that I can’t skip stretching before a workout anymore). All in all, I think the list puts some perspective on things, or gives me a 30,000 ft view of what 10 years of life can include. A lot happened in 10 years, despite it feeling like it went by in the blink of an eye. When I turned 30 I lived in a different town, had a different job, did different things… my life looked completely different than it does now and I didn't see the majority of it coming.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that it reaffirmed for me that it’s worth living in the moment and not worrying about the future so much. It’s only what I’m doing today that can tangibly affect my life and the trajectory I walk next. I’m also happy to say that people were right, I do feel more grounded and more confident in who I am, and for that reason I’m not dreading turning 40. Yes, it still sounds way older than I feel (most days, anyway); I also remember my parents turning 40 and I just don’t feel like I’m as old as they seemed to be to me at the time...but even though it doesn’t always compute in my brain, my 30’s taught me that it’s ok. I tend to be a negative-Nancy about aging, but as the Jumanji sequel reminded me, getting old is a gift. I'm trying to shift my thinking and realize it’s not the beginning of the end. There are new things and people this next decade that will continue to shape me as a person and teach me more about who God created me to be. And, one perk I’ve already found is that most of the random beard hairs on my chin have recently turned gray, so no one can see them. 

I do feel inclined to add a complaints list for my 40’s though, and the first thing I’m putting on there is how my eyebrow hairs have suddenly decided to grow too long and require me to groom them so much more. Like, why? They made it this long staying an acceptable length, why change things now? 

No seriously, I want to know why. I’ll wait…

Anyway, I’m sure there are plenty more bodily surprises I won’t appreciate in the coming years. C’est la vie, I guess.

I’ll close with part of my 40th celebration that has already occurred. I asked Brian to take me somewhere since it's a milestone birthday and I was so tired of being home all the time (#pandemic). However, one unfortunate side-effect of having a birthday in late March is that it coincides with spring break, which means travel costs get exponentially higher, so in an effort to avoid paying thousands more, Brian planned a wonderful trip to Moab in mid-February (added perk, I get a second little celebration on my actual birthday!)

 It felt so good to get to a more mild climate where a light jacket was sufficient, to see God’s glory in nature, and to just celebrate life with my family. Brian planned every detail and anyone who truly knows me, knows that is the way to my heart. I savor not having to stress about making a single decision, I love to just show up and enjoy time with people I love. Adley loved it so much she asks to go back to Moab just about daily. The other day we got in the car and she said, “TO MOAB!!!”

So, here's to turning 40. May my life experiences grow more than my facial hairs.