Dr. Facebook or: How I learned to stop worrying & love social media

I've read a few articles online recently about the different social websites and these articles basically bashed them. There’s the ever present argument that Facebook has given us a false sense of intimacy with our friends.  I read that people feel Instagram should be renamed “Brag-o-gram” because people use it to brag about all the fun things they are doing.  I also read that Pinterest is the current version of your binder in middle school. The binder you decorated with pictures of all the things you like and that Pinterest has become a place where people mindlessly pin things and don’t use their own creativity. I tend to avoid writing opinion pieces; it’s not because I don’t have an opinion but because I generally can’t handle the aftermath of expressing my opinion. In my perfect world, I could share my opinion and people of a different opinion would just smile and nod and leave me alone; but we live in an imperfect world full of mean people so I usually keep to myself. All that to say, I don’t really agree with these attacks on social media.

From where I sit, I find these websites to be very beneficial. I have friends and family all over the place and I don’t live near a single one of them. Maybe it’s my own fault for going away to college or for traveling outside of my hometown on occasion but, I love them and I am always interested to know what is going on in their lives. For me to be able to go online and get a glimpse into everything from the mundane to the grand is a priceless gift to me. What I loved about college was being in close proximity to my friends. I knew what they liked to eat for breakfast or what they did the night before, even if it was just homework. I think there’s a great intimacy that accompanies that type of knowledge- the type of intimacy that you get growing up with your immediate family.

Facebook allows me to get some of that back. For example, a few years ago I posted something about Brian being away for a night which meant that my dinner consisted of nuggets and fries. I ran into someone the next day that I don’t see often and she said, “How were your nuggets and fries last night?” I love that! It helps us all avoid the uber-vague questions that I hate. So, what have you been up to? When you actually do get face time, you can ask more personal and targeted questions. “Hi! I saw your pictures from Florida. What was it like to meet Mickey Mouse?”  

I will admit that some people post too often and I start to just skim over their posts but that’s like real life, too. Some people just share too much. Facebook saves you from all the smiling and nodding and secret eye-rolling you want to do when you’re with them. Heck, it has probably saved your friendship. Then there are the people who post very vague posts: Grrrr. Those posts appear to be unhelpful in your friendship but it at least clues you in to the fact that they aren't doing 100% so you can try to dig further or provide vague comfort back. We've all had friends who act melancholy but don’t come right out to say what’s wrong. I think Facebook mirrors traditional friendship more than people want to admit and that it has provided a helpful alternative in the world we live in where not everyone you know and care about lives within a 5 block radius.

Photography is one of my hobbies and I have bought more cameras and have spent more money on disappointing rolls of film than you can count trying to get pictures to look the way Instagram does with a quick touch on your screen so yes, I’m sold on it. And no, I don’t think it should be called “Brag-o-gram”. I’m sorry, since when did it become awful to want to show your friends your pictures? I've been sharing pictures with friends since I first got my Fisher-Price camera in 4^th grade. I don’t see why an electronic version should be any different. Maybe I’m just a born bragger but I’m confident that everybody I've ever met has hung pictures on their walls or put them on their refrigerators and desks because people like to share their pictures. What I know from my own experience is that if I feel like someone is bragging it’s because I’m jealous and I need to look inward and re-evaluate myself because I've probably lost sight of what I have and am taking it all for granted.

The internet is a HUGE organism with never-ending information and websites. I don’t know about you but I don’t want to spend large amounts of my time trying to find all the good stuff (I would rather spend my time taking Instagrams of all the awesome things I’m doing) & that’s why I love Pinterest. It also saves me from having a Favorites list a mile long from which I can never find anything nor remember why I even bookmarked it.  I’m sure there are people out there who just go on and pin every shiny thing they see but I actually use it for the recipes, exercise ideas, and crafty things. I don’t feel like it is causing people to stop being creative. You’re getting your pins from somewhere, where someone was creative enough to cause you to want to pin it and I've found some great inspiration to go forth and be creative on my own. I also don’t think it’s wrong to have another form of your middle-school binder. You went from a binder to a locker to a dorm room to an apartment to your house. They are all canvases to express yourself; to be visual representations of things you enjoy and what your style is. You also leave your house on a semi-daily basis wearing things that represent your likes and tastes. Why is that bad?

I guess my question is: Why do we so often feel threatened by the other people in our lives? I think we should be happy to have the opportunity to share in the lives of our friends and family in so many different ways. No one is trying to make you feel bad about yourself. No one is trying to steal your creativity. I know change is not always welcome (and social media is certainly changing things) but if you just relax and see it as another way to connect - you know, like when they invented the telephone- you’ll find that these are great tools.  

In conclusion, I cling to the remaining threads that connect me to my people and, as an introvert, I also appreciate any tidbits I can find to help me carry on a conversation with someone the next time I see them!

P.S. Now I just need to work on not getting frustrated when it’s obvious my friends aren’t following me as closely as I’m following them.   I find myself on occasion thinking: What have I been up to? Do I really need to repeat this? I already posted it online for you to read. We should be past this. Sheesh. J